research parenting styles
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Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting $7.79 Intelligence That Comes from the Heart Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman show… |
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The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are $15.60 This book goes beyond the nature and nurture divisions that traditionally have constrained much of our thinking about development, exploring the role of interpersonal relationships in forging key connections in the brain. Daniel J. Siegel presents a groundbreaking new way of thinking about the emergence of the human mind and the process by which each of us becomes a feeling, thinking, remembering … |
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Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent $8.51 New parents are faced with innumerable decisions to make regarding the best way to care for their baby, and, naturally, they often turn for guidance to friends and family members who have already raised children. But as scientists are discovering, much of the trusted advice that has been passed down through generations needs to be carefully reexamined.A thought-provoking combination of practical p… |
Top 7 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
If you have difficulty dealing with your children, you are not alone. Many parents seem to be quite at loss when it comes to enforcing good behavior in their children. Research has shown that some parenting styles definitely do not work. Read on to learn how you can avoid the most common parenting mistakes:
#1: Don’t punish harshly. Professor of Sociology, University of New Hampshire, Murray Straus, estimates that 90 percent of parents do not think it wrong to beat children. However, researchers studying child behavior insist that punishing children too harshly is a big parenting mistake. Discipline, they say, is effective only when it is mild. For instance, “time out” should not be for more than a few minutes, and privilege withdrawal should not be extended for more than a day.
#2: Don’t nag. If you think that constant nagging will get your kids to do as you want them to, think again. Research has proven that people tend to ignore repetitive commands. Not only that, nagging also negatively reinforces wrong behavior.
#3: Don’t compromise. If you make rules, be ready to enforce them. Nobody expects that you set military standards for discipline for your children, but let them know that a “no” means “no.” When your kids learn that you will not give in to their tantrums, they will simply stop throwing them.
#4: Don’t overprotect. While it is your duty to protect your children, it is also important to let them learn from their mistakes. As psychologist and Raising Resilient Children co-author, Robert Brooks explains, “Resilient children realize that sometimes they will fail, make mistakes, have setbacks. They will attempt to learn from them.”
#5: Don’t over-praise. An important aspect of parenting is to praise children for exemplary behavior. However, if you habitually applaud every thing they do, you may end up undermining the effectiveness of praise as a form of positive reinforcement. This is because your children may not understand why you are praising them, or may even overestimate their own worth.
#6: Don’t stress grades. Academics are important for your children, but a common parenting mistake is to stress grades over creativity. Psychiatrist and author of Great Kids, Stanley Greenspan points out that while parents make children learn rules and facts, it is more difficult to get them to think creatively. Creativity, however, is essential to help children to discard ideas that don’t work and look for alternative solutions.
#7: Don’t disregard feelings. Myrna Shure, author of Raising a Thinking Child, says that children need to be able to examine their feelings about things. One of the most common mistakes parents make is disregard their children’s feelings-by telling them not to cry, for instance. A better approach is to show empathy by letting children know that you understand how they feel. Your parenting styles are likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent.
About the Author
Paul Banas was looking for a business idea that would allow him the flexibility to spend time with his family. Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on father and daughter, parenting skills, family planning, pregnancy care and many more topics related to dads.
research parenting styles Questions
Talking to family you do not agree with??
My sister and I have completely different parenting styles!! I am more for the gentle approach. I would never let my son scream in his bed by himself for an hour and things like that. She however thinks I am crazy for letting my son sleep with me. That is just one example of how we are so different (we were raised by different parents). When we talk sometimes I get physically ill at the things she is doing with her kids and her pets. I have researched everything I do with my son and weighed all the pros and cons so I know what I am doing is for the best. I just cannot deal with the way she treats her kids. She is not really “abusing” them. But she is just not treating them nice! I don’t want to stop communicating with her, but I can’t keep listening to her tell me about how I should parent when I think her way of parenting is a load of CRAP! Is there a gentle way to tell he that I do not want her advice because it literally makes me sick??
Behavior between parent and child is usually an off limits subject, since it is so personal, with anybody, not just brothers and sisters. Nothing you can say will change somebody else. You have to be able to manage with them as they are. Keeping more distance and talking about other things and changing the subject are the typical social skills that we all develop to handle such problems.
How do I convince my parents to let me be scene?
ok well I like the scene style i like the colorus and thow whole idea. i want to get the hair cut with the bright colours and i want to have the short choppy layers. i want to have the make up and dress like it with the converse and screen tees. But my mom thinks thts emo. which is not emo is dark n gloomy scene is bright n colour fun but unlike a prep scene dont buy aeropostale n junk. Like wen i went shopping with my aunt aunt n cousin n mom i foumd a bunch of screen tees tht i really liked n my mom said “why do u like these? ur gonna look…..” ‘emo!” yea emo. i was like wtf?! n i really get mad wen they make fun of me for it. they think tht i would cut myself! Which i wont! i have a friend tht does but i dont like her as much anymore. n they think ill maje a bead decision n blah blah. oh n i would also like to convince them to let me get a piercing i did research on them n everything like how to take care of it. SOMEONE HELP ME!!!
Write your parents a very mature letter asking for them to not confine you so much. Allow you some basic opportunities to mature into the person you want to become. Ask for small things first like, clothes and hair. Don’t go for the piercing right now. Remind your parents how responsible you are, how you will continue to make them proud by making the right choices on the important things. Tell them that they have done a great job raising you so far, making you smart, respectful, hardworking, responsible, because they are such great parents (Parents love that stuff)
Then tell them you are asking for their support during this time when you are “finding” yourself. Expressing yourself! Tell them what you are going to do, like I am going to spen my allowance or earn money to purchase clothes and hair styles that make me feel good about myself right now in life.
Thank them for understanding. And then DO IT!!!!!
Parents always set rules until they are broken, then once they are broken, they reevaluate and reset rules. Particularly on these simple ones. If you really want it. Tell them repectfully, be “GOOD”, but still do it!
Now if you have problems about breaking rules, talking disrespectfully, making poor choices already then your screwed!
Good Luck!
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Parenting Styles – Permissive
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Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting $7.79 In Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, psychology professor John Gottman explores the emotional relationship between parents and children. It’s not enough to simply reject an authoritarian model of parenting, Gottman says. A parent needs to be concerned with the quality of emotional interactions. Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and coauthor Joan Declaire focus first on… |
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The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are $15.60 This book goes beyond the nature and nurture divisions that traditionally have constrained much of our thinking about development, exploring the role of interpersonal relationships in forging key connections in the brain. Daniel J. Siegel presents a groundbreaking new way of thinking about the emergence of the human mind and the process by which each of us becomes a feeling, thinking, remembering … |
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Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent $8.51 How we raise our children differs greatly from society to society, with many cultures responding differently to such questions as how a parent should respond to a crying child, how often a baby should be nursed, and at what age a child should learn to sleep alone. Ethnopediatrics–the study of parents, children, and child rearing across cultures–is the subject of anthropologist Meredith F. … |
