children parenting quotes
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Bill Cosby, Himself $6.78 After I Spy and before The Cosby Show, Bill Cosby left his own inimitable mark on the arena of stand-up comedy in this live concert showcasing his down-to-earth observations on the rigors and joys of family life. Cosby, using only a microphone and a chair, discusses his take on raising kids and the illogical nature of children and the futility of trying to argue with a child that in the end may be… |
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Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store (A Short Story) $0.99 John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can’t quite master the intricacies of the potty. It isn’t his fault. He studied hard and got a college degre… |
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Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents $8.11 This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life pai… |
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Bringing Up Boys $6.88 Parents, teachers, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have many questions. Are boys fundamentally different from girls? If so, how? |
21 Parenting Ideas to be a Better Parent
During the end of year holidays I like to kick back and put my feet up. I also like to read widely to get some inspiration to help me focus in the coming year.
Here are two quotes I read during my break that really resonated with me:
“If you want better children and a better society then you need better parents.” Maurice Balson.
“Parenting is probably the most important public health issue facing our society.” Professor Graham Vimpani
Thinking about those two quotes helped orientate me and reinvigorate for the coming year. So in this spirit I have listed 21 ideas to guide, inspire and reinvigorate you to become a better parent in 2009. Read the list and choose a couple of ideas to focus on in the coming months. Often only a small change is needed to make a big impact on your kids.
Here goes:
1. Build traditions in your family.
There is no better way to build memories and bind your family together than to establish your own traditions and rituals. Traditions anchor kids to their families as well as to their childhoods. Tradition can be translated as “this is the way we do things in our family.”
2. Build self-belief in kids.
It is self-belief rather than ability that holds many kids back from really achieving their best. Put effort into ‘developing the courage to be imperfect’ so that kids aren’t afraid of messing up. It is through mistakes that kids learn and grow. Learn more in Bringing out your Child’s self-confidence.
3. Build self-knowledge in kids.
Self-knowledge is the best knowledge that kids can have. The best way to do this is to develop the habit of describing kids being good. When they do something special (or not so-special) tell them what they have done. ‘I love the way you greeted your nana with a smile. You’re really good with people.” This becomes part of their internal self-reference system as it was told to them by a significant adult in their life.
4. Encourage kids to be self-occupiers.
Kids’ ability to keep themselves occupied cannot be underestimated. Avoid rushing in when they seem bored. Suggest ideas rather than provide entertainment. Self-occupiers readily get into the state of flow and get lost in play which is great for achievement and mental health.
5. Balance boredom with busyness.
Leave some spaces in kids’ schedules for some hang-time and muck-around time. These are good for building family relationships and promoting mental health.
6. Encourage a sense of generosity.
Moving kids from ‘me’ to ‘we’ takes work these days. Encourage kids to volunteer, give some pocket money to charity and give away unused toys to develop their sense of ‘other’.
7. Parent differently for each child.
You can bet your bottom dollar what worked with one child won’t work with another so be flexible with your behaviour management, communication and relationship-building skills. Read Why first borns rule the world and last borns want to change it.
8. Consciously model the behaviours you want.
Kids will sometimes do as you say but will always do what you do. If you want them to be generous and kind-spirited then you have no choice but to be generous and kind-spirited yourself.
9. Have at least five family mealtimes a week.
Sitting down and breaking bread together as family or group builds strong families and gives you the chance to talk. If you want to influence your kids and their thinking then you need to talk with them more. Mealtimes provide these opportunities.
10. Build redundancy into your parenting.
You don’t want you kids living with you when they are forty so you had better start making yourself redundant right now. Some people wait for a certain age before they let kids do for themselves. Build scaffolds to independence from the earliest possible age. Teach them, then give them opportunities to be self-sufficient. Even three year olds can make their bed – just not as well as when they are ten.
11. Give kids a map and a compass.
Just as explorers need a map and a compass to guide them when they enter unknown territory, kids need a map and a compass to guide them when they meet with difficult and different situations. The map they have is made up of what they know of you and your life story. This helps them work out smart from less than smart behaviour. The compass is the made up of the values that you live so they know right from wrong.
12. Make it easy for kids to behave well.
Kids usually want to behave well but many find behaving well hard. Make it easy for them not by lowering your standards but by giving gentle reminders, setting up simple routines and giving simple verbal cues. Read One Step Ahead or learn more in Bringing out Your Children’s Best Behaviour.
13. Teach kids to be financially smart.
Financial smarts begins at home. Give them pocket-money on a regular basis and allow them to take some control over their spending. Avoid being their own personal ATM and don’t give them money whenever they want it.
14. Help kids appreciate what they have.
Some children have a default mechanism that is both negative and self-centred. Encourage them to look on the bright side and be thankful for what they have rather than always wanting more or focusing on what they don’t have.
15. Focus on feelings not just behaviour.
Next time a child asks for an extension to bedtime because they doing a fun activity resist going into behaviour management mode and move into emotional intelligence mode. “It’s great to see you happy and really enjoying that game. What’s it like having so much fun?” Then move them to bed while you are listening.
16. Understand child development.
Some stages are harder than others and different stages require different things of kids. Early childhood is about bonding and then breaking away. Middle childhood is about developing competencies and self-esteem and adolescence is about identity formation and breaking away. Each stage has its own joys and challenges for parents. Appreciate each stage and don’t wish them away.
17. Build mental health skills.
The World Health Organisation predicts that mental health will be the biggest health issue in the developed world over the next few decades. Teach kids good mental health skills at home by helping them relax and unwind, deal with anxiety and talk about their every day challenges without fear of being judged.
18. Be the hope person in their life.
Life can sometimes suck when you are a kid. Offer kids hope that things will get better or that they will get used to difficult situations. Help them set goals or do something that will help alleviate a difficulty. Learn about Resilience in Bring out your Child’s resilience.
19. Focus on relationships, not rules.
It’s hard to fight when you get on with someone so make sure you have something in common with each of your kids. The love languages approach (Google Love languages) offers a framework that will help you connect with each of your kids.
20. Build layers of community around kids.
Family, friends, teachers, coaches, people in the broader community form a protective circle around kids, help keep them safe and prevent them from falling through the cracks. Encourage a sense of community. Let them bring friends home. Encourage them to take up community-based activities and value relationships they have with coaches, teachers and people in their neighbourhood.
21. Attend a Happy Kids Parenting Seminar this year.
Get your blueprints for developing confidence and character in kids at my Bringing out your child’s CONFIDENCE seminars in all mainland capitals in February/March and the Raising WELL-BEHAVED kids seminars in August/September. Both have FREE bonus workshops beforehand where I can answer your pressing questions. Find out how and where, by visiting my website.
About the Author
Michael Grose is Australia’s NO. 1 parenting expert. He is the director of Parenting Ideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. Get your FREE Chores and Responsibilities for Kids Guide when you visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Get a hold of Michael’s sensational new book Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It at www.michaelgrose.com. You’ll be astounded when you learn about your birth order personality and how the postion in your family impacts on your life!
children parenting quotes Questions
Would you agree or disagree with this parents quote, and why?
Parents who feel guilty for the little time they can (or choose to) spend with their children “pick up” after them, so the children don’t learn to face the consequences of their own choices and actions. Parents who allow their children to fail are showing them greater love and respect.
I don’t know about the guilt part, but I do agree that a child can be too protected. As parents, a major goal should be to teach children decision making skills. This means allowing them to fail at times. A parent should guide a child’s decisions, but not make all of them for him/her. I don’t think it has anything to do with more love or respect, just different parent’s personalities and ability to let go at times.
Looking for poem for mothers that says something about “my house may not be clean buy my children are happy”.
There is a poem with that quote in it reminding parents/mothers to take time with their children and not worry so much about their house.
Here’s some good ones. Is this what you were looking for?
Excuse This House
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there.
Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are every where.
For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess
For toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read,
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.
For when at times I’m forced to
Choose the one job or the other,
I want to be a housewife…
But first I’ll be a mother.
_______________________________________________
Love in the Home
If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place,
but have not love, I am a housekeeper – not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but
have not love, my children learn cleanliness – not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.
Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is
responsive. Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs
with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens salvation’s message to a child’s heart.
Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I
glory in God’s perfection of my child. As a mother, there is much I
must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
——————————————————————————–
Love versus Obligation
A house is a house is a house — until love comes through the door, that is.
And love intuitively goes around sprinkling that special brand of angel dust that transforms a house into a very special home for very special people: your family.
Money, of course, can build a charming house,
but only love can furnish it with a feeling of home.
Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch,
but love may decide to tuck a little love note inside.
Money can provide a television set,
but love controls it and cares enough to say no and take the guff that comes with it.
Obligation sends the children to bed on time,
but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs (even to teenagers!).
Obligation can cook a meal,
but love embellishes the table with a potted ivy trailing around slender candles.
Duty writes many letters,
but love tucks a joke or a picture or a stick of gum inside.
Compulsion keeps a sparkling house.
But love and prayer stand a better chance of producing a happy family.
Duty gets offended quickly if it isn’t appreciated.
But love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it.
Obligation can pour a glass of milk,
but quite often love will add a little chocolate.
children parenting quotes Videos
Uplifting Our Children – Abraham-Hicks Inspired
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Bill Cosby, Himself $6.78 Film of a live performance at Toronto’s Hamilton Place Performing Arts Center. Comedy monologues on marriage, drugs, dentists and children.Genre: Spoken Word ComedyRating: PGRelease Date: 10-AUG-2004Media Type: DVD… |
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Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store (A Short Story) $0.99 John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can’t quite master the intricacies of the potty. It isn’t his fault. He studied hard and got a college degre… |
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Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents $8.11 This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life pai… |
|
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Bringing Up Boys $6.88 Parents, teachers, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have many questions. Are boys fundamentally different from girls? If so, how? |
