authoritative parenting essay
Are you using outdated parenting methods? Let’s face it, if you’re using 20th century parenting techniques in the 21st century, you could be setting up yourself up for failure. Parenting can be a beautiful and easy experience; however if you’re still clinging to outdated methods, especially ones your parents and grandparents used, then you won’t enjoy being a parent and your kids won’t like having you as a parent. Remember, once your children are born all bets are off. They may not share your passion for sports, art, science, history, or whatever it is you’re trying to force on them. Allow them to be who they are and you’ll have a great relationship that will last for years.
7 Signs Your Parenting Methods Are Outdated
You always yell and scream to get your point across. Do you yell and scream at the top of your lungs? How’s that working for you? Children won’t respond if you’re yelling and screaming. They’ll yell back at you and before you know it, you’ll be in a screaming competition with your kids. Stay calm when you speak to your kids. Use an authoritative tone, but don’t yell and scream because you’ll look like a crazy person! Your kids won’t respect you if you constantly yell and scream. In fact, it will become a game to see how they can ‘push your buttons’ to get a reaction out of you.
You are passive/aggressive. Do you use passive/aggressive behavior? For example, if you’re kids don’t take out the garbage after you asked them to, do you pout about it? You may not realize it, but you’re acting like a child. If your kids don’t do something, tell them they’ll receive a consequence. Passive/aggressive behavior is an outdated parenting method and isn’t effective.
You don’t listen. How good of a listener are you? Sometimes your kids just want you to listen instead of dispensing your words of wisdom. If you have advice to give, ask them if they’re willing to listen to it. If they’re not, tell them it’s all right and let them know you’re always available to talk. You’ll gain their trust and respect. Forcing advice on someone, especially your kids, isn’t a good idea. They may not be ready to hear what you have to say.
You ignore the fact that your kids are living in the 21st century. Being a kid, especially a teenager, isn’t like it was 20 or more years ago. They’re technologically advanced and grow up faster because of it. Remember when you thought a Walkman, Atari, or radio was cool? Now your kids have iPods, laptops, netbooks, MP3 players, social media websites, and other technologies to use. Try to understand life from their point-of-view.
You think negotiating with your kids works. If you negotiate with your kids it won’t work. Leave negotiating for when you want to buy a vehicle! The bottom line is not to go back and forth with your kids. If they don’t like the ‘house’ rules, they receive a consequence for it. Explain to them why they’re receiving it.
You don’t give your kids consequences for their actions. Do you kids know about the law of cause and effect? For every action there’s a reaction. For example, if your kids break curfew, they receive a consequence such as no video games for a week, no social media for a week, they must write an essay on breaking curfew, or whatever consequence you think is best. When they get into the ‘real world,’ they’ll receive a consequence for showing up to work late or breaking the law!
You give your power to your kids. Who’s running the household? You or your kids? If you always give into your kids to keep them quiet, you’ll create chaos. When you say “No,” explain why you’re saying “No.” Some parents may think they don’t have to explain themselves but it will help your child to understand WHY you’re saying “No” to them. If they understand, they’re less likely to carry on and on when you go shopping. Use an authoritative tone, be firm, but be fair as well.
Rebecca Sebek is the owner of DEORConsulting, a life coaching, consulting, and educating company for teens, parents, guardians, and professionals who work with teens. Parents learn how your past may be influencing your parenting skills; you may be surprised that it is. Together, we can help teens be, do, and have all they want out of life.
Website: http://www.DEORConsulting.com
authoritative parenting essay Questions
thesis—is mine confusing?
The thesis for my research essay is: “Corporal punishment can undoubtedly damage a parent-child relationship, so parents who choose to use it must do so prudently and along with sufficient communication and love, exercising authoritative parenting, and thus minimizing the negative effects.”
Is this thesis worded confusing or overly complex? If so, how can I fix it?
Thank you so much for helping me!
I know what you’re saying, but you jumbled it all together. Forget the rules, break it up into two sentences. It sounds better and it’s easier to read.
“Corporal punishment can undoubtedly damage a parent-child relationship. Parents who choose to use it must do so prudently and, along with sufficient communication and love, exercise authoritative parenting, thus minimizing the negative effects.”
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